Mullah Nassrudin

Once the people of a city invited the Mullah to give a speech. Now the Mullah wasn't very learned and didn't know what to talk about. When the Mullah arrived he asked the people, "Do you Know what I'm going to talk about?"
The people gave the obvious reply, "No."
The Mullah replied "I have no desire to speak to people who have no idea what I'm going to talk about."
The people felt a bit ashamed and called the Mullah to speak again. He asked the same question and they replied, "Yes," this time.
At this the Mullah said, "Well since you all know what I'm going to say then I shouldn't waste your time." And he left.
The people were really puzzled, and called on the Mullah for the third time. They were asked the same question. And this time half the audience answered "Yes", and half the audience answered "No".
To this the Mullah replied, ".Than the half who already know should tell the half that doesn't know." And he left once again.
 

Mullah Nasruddin was standing outside the mosque after prayer. He had told his wife to meet him outside of the door, but after fifteen minutes she had not shown. He saw his friend Jafar coming out of the door. "salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Jafar replied, and walked upon his way.

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw his friend Nabil walk out of the door.

"Salam alaikum, brother," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I wonder, did you happen to see my wife inside the mosque?

"I'm sorry, I didn't, but I'm sure she'll be right out." Nabil replied, and walked upon his way.

Mullah Nasruddin waited for fifteen more minutes, but his wife did not show. He then saw the Imam coming out the door. The Imam locked the mosque door behind him.

"Salam Alaikum Imam," Mullah Nasruddin said respectfully, "I am looking for my wife. Do you by chance, know where she went?"

"I'm sorry, no one is left in the Mosque," replied the Imam, "All have gone for the night." and he walked upon his way.

Full of anger, Mullah Nasruddin walked home alone. When he got there, his wife was standing outside the door.

Mullah Nasruddin and his wife are in their car driving.Suddenly his wife screams, "STOP THE CAR!!!" "What is it?" Mullah Nasruddin asks."Turn around and go back home!! I forgot to turn off the oven!! The house will burn down!!!" Mullah Nasruddin kept on driving. "Why aren't you turning around?" "The house won't burn down..." Mullah Nasruddin replied. "...I forgot to turn off the shower."

 the Pope decided that all the Muslims had to leave Jerusalem. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Muslim community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Muslim community. If the Muslim won the debate, all the Muslims could stay. If the Pope won, all the Muslims would have to leave. The Muslims realised that they had no choice. They looked around for a champion who could defend their faith, but no one wanted to volunteer. It was too risky. But they finally picked their representative, an old Mullah who unknowingly agreed without knowing what he was getting himself into. He agreed only on the condition that neither side be allowed to talk but communicate by miming. The pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. The Mullah and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute before the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The Mullah looked back at him and raised his middle finger..The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Mullah Nasruddin pointed to the ground and stamped his foot.The Pope pulled out a wafer and a glass of wine. Mullah pulled out an apple. The Pope stood up and said, 'I give up. This man is too good. The Muslims can stay.' An hour later, the cardials were all around the Pope asking him what happened. The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions. Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground and stamping on it, showing that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and the wafer to show that God absolves us from our sins. He pulled out an apple, reminding me of the first sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?"Meanwhile, the Muslim community had crowded around the Mullah in total astonishmen. "What happened?" they asked. "Well,"said the Mullah, "First he said to me that we Muslims had three days to leave Jerusalem. I told him up yours. Then he told me that this whole city would be cleared of Muslims. I said none of us leaving this land!""And then?' asked a woman.""He took out his lunch and I took out mine," said the Mullah.

Mullah Nasruddin bumps into Yusef Islam, a convert to Islam. "Salam-Alaikum brother Yusuf!" Mullah Nasruddin said excitedly.

"Alaikum-salam, brother!" replied Yusuf.

"I have this question I have been wanting to ask you for a LONG LONG time, and now, since you are here, may I ask it?"

"Go ahead, brother, you may." replied Yusuf.

"When you became a Muslim, did you cry?"

"Indeed I did." replied Yusuf.

"ME TOO! ME TOO!" exclaimed Mullah Nasruddin excitedly.

"When did you become Muslim?" asked Yusuf curiously.

"When I was born!" Mullah Nasruddin replied proudly.